Big Shots

A prayer from the meeting

I’m working on a new book (#5). This one is more like a memoir, a series of stories taken from my time in the prisons, running groups based in alcohol and drug abuse, other groups devoted to mental health coming out of mental illness. All stories from between the cracks so to speak of sources/resources. I bumbled into spaces I had little training for other than a good measure of chutzpah.

I’m assembling the manuscript now, here is a prayer-poem, proem that came out of one of the groups. The alcohol and drug group is called Shalvah. Shalvah means serenity. Secret: I don’t have to make up a darn thing.

A Bunch of Me All Over the Place
A Prayer from the Meeting [Shalvah means Serenity]

When I first came in
I messed up 
Went to a meeting
Everybody told me --

You really messed up.
What the heck!
Where’s the compassion?

I was living in a hovel
Went home laid down on my bed
I had to take it to G*d
Work it out there.

There’s still a bunch of me
All over the place.
After all  –

Humility.
All the big shots I knew
Not big shots now
That big shot-itis?

Deadly.

Even if you survive it in this life
No one’s going to think of you
After you’re gone.

Go to the cemetery
Make a prayer
Tell all those big shots
I hope somebody remembers you
Because I don’t hear your name mentioned –

You’re not as big shot
As you thought.

Amen.